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  • About Arthritis
    Common Topics
    woman holding her wristWhat Is Arthritis?

    Arthritis is not one disease. Learn about the different types of arthritis, how they differ and why it’s important.

    microbesInflammation and the Immune System

    Body-wide inflammation is at the root of most chronic diseases — and you may have more control over it than you think.

    Patient talking with nurseNewly Diagnosed With Arthritis

    A new arthritis diagnosis can be overwhelming. These tips can help.

    • Understanding Arthritis
    • Arthritis Types
    • More About Arthritis
    • Where it Hurts
    • Related Conditions
  • Treatments
    Common Topics
    Woman holding shoulderWebinar: Touch Therapies for Pain Management

    Learn the evidence behind popular touch therapies for arthritis, including what to try and what to avoid, for how long and when.

    Managing Arthritis Care Costs

    Learn the basics about health care costs and financial tools available to you.

    Man with head in hands on bedWebinar: Arthritis Fatigue Causes and Solutions

    Learn the various causes of arthritis-related fatigue and strategies to combat weariness.

    • Treatment Plan
    • Drug Guide
    • Joint Surgery
    • Complementary Therapies
    • Insurance Management
  • Healthy Living
    Common Topics
    Woman with upset stomachMicrobiome, Gut Health & Arthritis

    Microbiome, microbes, microorganisms – these terms may be confusing, but the types of bacteria living in and on our bodies can impact arthritis. Learn what helps or harms the microbiome and the health of your gut and discover dietary changes that can make a difference. This episode was originally released on January 19, 2021.

    man exercisingStairs Workout Demo

    Strengthen your leg muscles and improve your stability to make going up and down stairs safer and easier.

    woman consoling anotherArthritis and Mental Health

    Learn about the connection between arthritis, depression and anxiety and how these conditions can make your arthritis worse.

    • Ease of Use Products
    • Managing Pain
    • Recipes & Nutrition
    • Physical Activity
    • Emotional Well-being
    • Daily Living
    • Family & Relationships
  • Juvenile Arthritis
    Common Topics
    2023 JA Family Summit

    Learn about the National Juvenile Arthritis Conference, a place for families to connect, share and learn.

    JA Camps

    The Arthritis Foundation’s JA camp programs give kids with arthritis and related childhood rheumatic diseases the chance to make lasting memories.

    Juvenile Arthritis Volunteer

    • About Juvenile Arthritis
    • Treatment
    • Managing Pain
    • Medical Decisions
    • Nutrition
    • Emotional Well-being
  • Professionals
    Common Topics
    Transforming Clinical Interactions

    The Live Yes! Arthritis community connects patients with others online and in-person for support and education, and encourages patients to play an active role in their health care.

    Partners 4 Patients with Arthritis

    The Arthritis Foundation recently launched an initiative to build stronger relationships and increase recognition of our most engaged practices. 

    Fellowships

    See how we're aiming to address the growing shortage of arthritis specialists, especially in under-served parts of the country.

    • Better Living Toolkits
    • Our Issue Briefs
  • Science
    Common Topics
    OACS Forum Series

    The Osteoarthritis Clinical Studies Forum Series features OA thought leaders from across the globe discussing the future of how the disease can be treated to improve patient outcomes.

    man bandaging boy's kneeConquering Childhood Arthritis

    The Arthritis Foundation is mobilizing patients and their families to engage in studies comparing the effectiveness of treatments for juvenile arthritis and funding research for more options.

    Focus

    • Awards
    • Funding Opportunities
    • OACS Forum Series
    • Osteoarthritis Focus
    • Participate in Clinical Trials
    • Partnerships
    • Publications
  • Get Involved
    Common Topics
    Capital hillAction Center

    Take action today - use the resources here to learn who your elected officials are, what opportunities we have to advocate from the comfort of your own home, federal and state legislation, and more!

    LiveYes! Insights thumbnailLive Yes! INSIGHTS

    Share your experience in a 10-minute assessment to be among those changing the future of arthritis.

    woman listening to podcastLive Yes! Podcast

    You may have arthritis, but it doesn't have you. The Arthritis Foundation’s one-of-a-kind podcast. Hosted by patients, for patients.

    • Advocacy
    • Ways to Give
    • Fundraising
    • Volunteer
    • Partnership
    • Live Yes! Arthritis Community
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Back

It’s Manly to Admit Your Pain

Jed Finley shares his journey to acknowledging his ankylosing spondylitis pain.

By Jed Finley, founder, Living With Ankylosing Spondylitis support group

I’ve had ankylosing spondylitis (AS) for 26 years. I’ve been an advocate for people with AS for half of that time, and what I have learned is that guys don’t like to admit they are in pain.

Support groups are 66% female, even though current diagnosis rates favor males by the same amount. The numbers are backwards, for the simple fact that men do not like to admit they need support.

And I’ll admit it, I used to be the same way.

I was 12 years old when I was diagnosed. At that time, there weren’t many options for treatment, at least for someone my age. Because of this, I had no other option than to just forget and move on with my life — mind over matter.

By 12, I had already had a lot of training in forgetting about pain. At the ripe, old age of one, I managed to break both my legs, and because I didn’t cry, everyone thought I was fine. Right before my AS diagnosis I broke my wrist playing hockey, played the remaining two periods and went to school the next day before I went to a doctor.

Mind over matter. Grunt, grunt. I ain’t got time for pain!

And this was my mindset until … well, I’ve never totally given up this mindset. Let’s be honest, the ability to ignore pain and strive on is useful when you’re in pain every day of your life.

But admitting my pain and limitations, that happened in my early 20s. I was a member of my university’s cross-country team, and while playing a game of basketball with my teammates, I broke my ankle. To be honest, I had actually broken my ankle a month or two prior, I just hadn’t noticed. I can’t explain how this was possible, but according to my X-rays, things had already started to heal and the newly formed bone gave out. Some seriously next-level “mind over matter” stuff, I guess. 

My broken ankle was the first time I was forced to slow down and stop running (literally). Just being, and being aware of my limitations, allowed me to realize ankylosing spondylitis hurts!

My pain had seriously caught up with me. I still wasn’t willing to go to a doctor, but my pain became my sidekick from that moment on. I started letting my inflamed spine dictate my posture, my actions and my mood. My college roommates started calling me “old man” and I would self-medicate with whatever was available.

It wasn’t easy to accept at first. Years later I started getting proper treatment from a rheumatologist. I found online sources and began learning everything I could about spondylitis, and most of all, I sought the support of others.

In 2007, after not finding much online support, I started my own Facebook group called “Living With Ankylosing Spondylitis,” which today has over 28,000 members. I began writing my stories down for others to read. I did everything I could to be open and honest about my condition and my pain.

We all need to be willing to share our experiences with chronic pain. Nobody (including men) should suffer alone or miss out on help because being vulnerable isn’t “tough” or “manly.”

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Find a support group and share your story. You are the only one in the world who can do that.

Tune in to the Live Yes! With Arthritis Podcast: Take Control of Back Pain episode to hear more about my story and another amazing patient leader, Dr. Rita Roy, who is the CEO of the National Spine Health Foundation.

Ankylosing Spondylitis Related Articles
Find More AS Articles
Can a Brace Help Ankylosing Spondylitis?

Ankylosing Spondylitis - AxSpA

Can a Brace Help Ankylosing Spondylitis?
Learn if braces help curvature in people with ankylosing spondylitis.
Read More
Ankylosing Spondylitis and Pregnancy

Ankylosing Spondylitis - AxSpA

Ankylosing Spondylitis and Pregnancy
Here’s what you should know if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant and breastfeed.
Read More
Ankylosing Spondylitis - AxSpA

Ankylosing Spondylitis - AxSpA

Ankylosing Spondylitis - AxSpA
Axial spondyloarthritis (axSpA) mostly affects the spine. It can cause damage visible on X-ray (ankylosing spondylitis) or damage that doesn’t show up on X-rays (nonradiographic axSpA).
Read More
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  • Donate

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    Every gift to the Arthritis Foundation will help people with arthritis across the U.S. live their best life.

  • Volunteer

    Volunteer

    Join us and become a Champion of Yes. There are many volunteer opportunities available.

  • Live Yes! INSIGHTS

    Live Yes! INSIGHTS

    Take part to be among those changing lives today and changing the future of arthritis.

  • Partner

    Partner

    Proud Partners of the Arthritis Foundation make an annual commitment to directly support the Foundation’s mission.

Donate


Ways to Give

Every gift to the Arthritis Foundation will help people with arthritis across the U.S. live their best life. Whether it is supporting cutting-edge research, 24/7 access to one-on-one support, resources and tools for daily living, and more, your gift will be life-changing.

Make a Donation

Help millions of people live with less pain and fund groundbreaking research to discover a cure for this devastating disease. Please, make your urgently-needed donation to the Arthritis Foundation now!

Become a Member

Become an Arthritis Foundation member today for just $20 and you'll receive access to helpful tools..... and more. 

Make a Honor or Memorial Gift

Honor a loved one with a meaningful donation to the Arthritis Foundation. We'll send a handwritten card to the honoree or their family notifying them of your thoughtful gift.

Gift Planning

I want information on ways to remember the AF in my will, trust or other financial planning vehicles.
 

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Volunteer


Volunteer Opportunities

The Arthritis Foundation is focused on finding a cure and championing the fight against arthritis with life-changing information, advocacy, science and community. We can only achieve these goals with your help. Strong, outspoken and engaged volunteers will help us conquer arthritis. By getting involved, you become a leader in our organization and help make a difference in the lives of millions. Join us and become a Champion of Yes.

Become a Volunteer

More About Volunteering

  • Walk to Cure
  • Jingle Bell Run
  • Do it Yourself Fundraising
  • JA Camp
  • Start a Live Yes! Connect Group
  • Be an Online Community Moderator
  • Local Leadership Board

Live Yes! INSIGHTS


Give Just 10 Minutes.

Tell us what matters most to you. Change the future of arthritis.

By taking part in the Live Yes! INSIGHTS assessment, you’ll be among those changing lives today and changing the future of arthritis, for yourself and for 54 million others. And all it takes is just 10 minutes.

Your shared experiences will help:

- Lead to more effective treatments and outcomes
- Develop programs to meet the needs of you and your community
- Shape a powerful agenda that fights for you

Now is the time to make your voice count, for yourself and the entire arthritis community. 

Currently this program is for the adult arthritis community.  Since the needs of the juvenile arthritis (JA) community are unique, we are currently working with experts to develop a customized experience for JA families. 

How are you changing the future?

By sharing your experience, you’re showing decision-makers the realities of living with arthritis, paving the way for change. You’re helping break down barriers to care, inform research and create resources that make a difference in people’s lives, including your own.

Get Started

Partner


Meet Our Partners

As a partner, you will help the Arthritis Foundation provide life-changing resources, science, advocacy and community connections for people with arthritis, the nations leading cause of disability. Join us today and help lead the way as a Champion of Yes.

Trailblazer

Our Trailblazers are committed partners ready to lead the way, take action and fight for everyday victories. They contribute $2,000,000 to $2,749,000

Visionary

Our Visionary partners help us plan for a future that includes a cure for arthritis. These inspired and inventive champions have contributed $1,500,00 to $1,999,999.

Pioneer

Our Pioneers are always ready to explore and find new weapons in the fight against arthritis. They contribute $1,000,000 to $1,499,999.

Pacesetter

Our Pacesetters ensure that we can chart the course for a cure for those who live with arthritis. They contribute $500,000 to $999,000.

Signature

Our Signature partners make their mark by helping us identify new and meaningful resources for people with arthritis. They contribute $250,000 to $499,999.

Supporting

Our Supporting partners are active champions who provide encouragement and assistance to the arthritis community. They contribute $100,000 to $249,999.

More About Partnerships

  • Partner with Us
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