Answer
Well, whatever you do, don’t give up. With a little patience and creativity, you can find a number of ways to make lovemaking enjoyable again. Carolyn Dodge, who has RA and speaks to young adults with arthritis about sex and sexuality, has learned this by listening to those who have attended her seminars. “The wonderful thing about the seminars I do,” she says, “is to listen to all these people talk about the creative things they’ve done with sex. I hear this from people who’ve had total hip replacements and from those who can’t open their hands or jaws much.

“If you use your mouth, your palm, the back of your hand, feathers, or any kind of fun, creative tool, you can be aroused and you can arouse your partner.

“It’s not so much that you have to be performing the way a TV show tells you. It’s about finding the way that works for you,” she says. “If we start to tap into what’s easy for us, making the most of what we’ve got, we can get as creative and crazy as possible, and that makes it that much more fun. Our greatest sex organs, as they always say, are our minds.”

If you need some suggestions for positions that might alleviate your pain, see the list of resources. Several of them have clear illustrations that will help.