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Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (Lupus)
in Children and Adolescents
What
about the rest of the family?
Part of the growing up process is gaining independence from one's parents. When
a child becomes ill, parents tend to protect the child more and the natural
separation process is stopped.
At
some point it is important for you to see your doctor alone. This will be hard on your parents, but it is necessary.
By assuming the responsibility for taking your medication(s), keeping your
appointments and calling your doctor for test results and changes in the
medication, you will show your parents that you are ready to take control of
your life.
Your personal
relationship with your doctor will not really exclude your parents. However, if you leave it to your parents to nag you about
taking medications, making your appointments and going to the doctor every month, they will have
more right to treat you like a kid. It
is up to you. If you have trouble
with all this, ask to talk to someone in the clinic, your doctor, nurse or
social worker.
Your
brother(s) or sister(s) may want to come to some of your appointments. If they are not allowed to, they may imagine that strange things happen
to you. You probably don't realize
that they, or even your parents, may feel guilty about your being sick. For example, when children (and sometimes adults) get angry, they may wish
that something terrible would happen to the person they are mad at. Imagine, if by chance your illness started just after your sister wished
you were dead. She might be
convinced that her wish came true and feel absolutely awful.
It's good to point out to everyone in your family that it is
nobody's fault that you got sick, but it is definitely everyone's affair to help get you well.
For your sister or brother, it may mean not having cookies or candy
around, or not being able to have pizza or Chinese food for a while because
there is too much salt in it. It
would not be fair for others to have it if you cannot.
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